Observation Record of A Self-Proclaimed Villainess’ Fiance 11.2
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Chapter 11 part 3 will be coming soon~!
Bertia 17 Years Old (1)
Translated by: LynneSuzuran & Senhiro
“…I love yellow. Particularly the one with a hue similar to the calming color of milk tea, I just love it. Moreover, I also love the blue color that’s similar to the clear night sky.”
So she says, and right now, she’s wearing a dress with a color that really resembles my hair and the antidote necklace I gave her resembling the color of my eyes, which she lovingly stroked with her free hand.
Aah, as expected, she is…
As I thought to myself, I exhaled the breath I had unconsciously been holding.
“…But, that’s exactly why I don’t want to wear them to the place where the [downfall] will happen. Such precious colors… Colors packed with lots of beloved memories… I don’t want sad memories to paint over them.”
I felt my stomach dropping.
And again, it’s as I thought.
…Why are you trying to stay away from me so stubbornly?
“Hey, Tia. If it’s really that sad, then what if we just don’t do the [downfall]?”
I pulled her hand that was grasping tightly onto the necklace that I gave her towards me, and covered it with my other hand.
I bundled both of her hands and gently wrapped them up in both of my mine before I spoke in a soft tone to admonish her consciousness.
I noticed that her eyes that looked back at me in surprise were quivering as if in turmoil.
However, the core that existed deep inside her quivering eyes contained the look of determination that didn’t waver the slightest bit.
“That’s impossible. After all, I really want Cecil-sama to be happy. I want you and everyone else to be happy.”
A bitter feeling filled my heart as she bit her lips tightly.
“If you think that way, then could you tell me the reason why others and I can’t be happy unless the [downfall] is accomplished? Even if you couldn’t find a method on your own other than achieving the [downfall], perhaps the two of us might be able to find a better method?”
Especially in Bertia’s case, even though she’s superior in terms of her studies, she’s devastatingly poor at things like sensing the feelings or schemes of other people, keeping an eye on the situation and staying one step ahead of the other party to lead things in a favorable direction for herself.
Her strategy relies on her nerves and the methods are at a level that can’t even be called strategies.
Fortunately, she was blessed with talented people surrounding her and she was quite popular, too. So, I thought that as long as I securely follow up for her, she’d manage somehow as the future queen. But in terms of the issue of her personal abilities, she would probably be classified as an [idiot].
Even though she told me, “there is no other way,” she’s not very persuasive.
There’s a high possibility that there is a better method, but she just hasn’t realized it because she is an [idiot].
…If she’d only just tell me what important information she has hidden within her heart.
Though I think so, Bertia obstinately wouldn’t confess about the thing related to that matter alone.
Because I understand that, I have stopped asking her about that matter.
Since it would be useless to spend my time towards something that wouldn’t produce any outcome, that’s why I thought that I should prioritize doing something that can be done.
However, for some reason, I couldn’t refrain myself from asking her now despite knowing that it would be futile.
Despite the fact that the possibility she would talk is drastically low, making these feelings of wanting her to naturally tell me, of wanting her to rely on me, meaningless.
Even though my mind could think rationally, I realized that I was strangely operating on the dubious component called feelings.
Aah, how foolish.
I’m such a fool.
I wonder if Bertia’s idiocy was projected onto me before I even realized it?
“I can’t do that! Because…”
Bertia started to say something before tightly closing that small mouth of hers.
As usual, I stared at her moving mouth that suddenly stopped and attempted to ask her as I tilted my head while paying attention so that my tone wasn’t forceful.
Judging from Bertia’s stubbornness, it was very unlikely that the answer I was seeking would come from her mouth. I knew that, but for some reason, I was still holding my expectations.
However, as expected, my wish didn’t come true.
“I really love everyone. That’s why, I don’t want anyone to get hurt. It is enough that only I… and my father who has committed crimes, be the only ones hurt.”
But… he hasn’t committed any crime?
I quickly swallowed back the words that were reflexively about to come out from my mouth.
Marquis Noches was currently on something of an undercover investigation together with Kulgan.
If I acted untactful and revealed that, it would put them at risk.
It is something that I can’t say right now.
After all, it’s Bertia’s nature that she can’t lie or deceive someone.
Aside from that, if we look at the bottom of the matter, the one who encouraged Marquis Noches to pursue the path of evil was you, right?
Because it is necessary for the [scenario].
I somewhat pitied Marquis Noches.
“Are you regretting your act of encouraging Marquis Noches to pursue the path of evil?”
“No, I’m not regretting it. Because it is something necessary. If it’s not done, then a worse future is definitely waiting. This is a fate that must happen!!”
I’m troubled over how I should reply to Bertia who was clenching her fist tightly with her renewed determination.
…Sorry. I have already smashed that fate properly.
However, there’s nothing to be worried for right now. And as for the trouble hereafter, I have Marquis Noches in the middle of cleaning it up neatly for me, so I think everything will turn out okay, see?
Still, I can’t tell her that.
“That’s why, Cecil-sama, please do the [downfall] without any reservation, and roam on the path of [a lovey-dovey happy end] with the heroine!!”
[Lovey-dovey happy end], was it?
I don’t really understand the meaning of it.
From Bertia’s tone, it would probably mean I’d become happy by being in a loving relationship with Baroness Heronia, but… even if I understand the meaning behind the words, I still can’t understand its significance after all.
The Baroness Heronia from some time ago was a boring person with an unpleasant attitude, but as of now, she’s the enemy who’s hurt my fiancée.
There’s no way I can think of a future where I can be happy loving that kind of person.
No, more importantly before that, it’s normally unthinkable for me, as a person with a fiancée, to choose a path that would connect me with another woman.
Well, if the noble daughter who’s my partner were to have a big flaw, it might be possible to break off the engagement with her given the reason that it was appropriate for the country’s sake.
Bertia is indeed missing a few screws in her head, but for some reason, her popularity is quite high, and if I had to mention her abilities, there would be a fair amount.
She’s a naïve person who cares deeply for her mother, and she’s also doing her best in her education as the future queen.
…While her memory might be quite a delicate subject, I heard that she managed to rank because her efforts exceeded the others greatly.
In addition, I myself think that she’s cute and interesting and that there’s no particularly conspicuous flaw.
…There aren’t supposed to be any.
……Because the matter’s scope can still be covered, so it’s alright… or it should be.
At any rate, so far, I haven’t felt any need to consider breaking off my engagement with her and choosing another woman.
Much less, if I were to compare her with Baroness Heronia, then it was certain that Bertia would be declared the winner.
Because there is a large difference between the kind of idiocy that irritated me and the kind of idiocy that I considered cute or amusing.
Besides, I think that my feelings towards these girls would be obvious if you were to look at the way I interacted with them.
One, if you look at my way of addressing them, I’ve been calling Bertia [Tia], yet I have never even called Baroness Heronia’s name even in front of the person herself.
In front of my close aides, there have been times when it was necessary to say her name, but that’s only [because it was necessary].
Even so, in accordance with the academy’s intention that stated [all students are equal], basically it’s an unspoken agreement that when you address a female acquaintance, you should address her with her first name followed by [-sama] or [-jou]. Despite that, I addressed her using [Baroness] as if I purposely wanted it to be heard and be understood that I was treating her as a stranger.
To begin with, in high society, it’s not odd for her to be addressed as [Baroness Inderon1], but there aren’t any reasons for her to be addressed as [Baroness Heronia].
The wise people surrounding me would be able to guess my intention of that improper way of addressing her, that I [do not feel like treating her as even an acquaintance].
And then, on top of guessing that matter, since she behaved herself as if nothing had happened despite the fact that I purposely let her experience that, I continued to address her as it is.
And then, on top of being sympathetic to me, they2 also purposely, brazenly acted like nothing was wrong, I also continued to address her as so.
The one person who was near me and hadn’t noticed would be Bertia.
To be honest, recently, I can’t help but keep wondering why she hasn’t noticed my very easy-to-understand intentions.
It’s true that I operated behind her back so as not to be troublesome, but it was relatively easy to understand that I intended to appeal to our intimacy as fiancés when I was with Bertia.
There’s no way I can afford to let the discord between the future king and queen be seen to those who like to spread rumors.
Even Shaun himself said these kinds of lines a few days ago: [Older Brother, you’ve been excessively concerned about Bertia recently], [As your relative, there were times when I felt embarrassed].
Reality has been altered to the point that it’s already far too different from the outline of the world of the [otome game] that Bertia depicted, so I wonder why Bertia can’t notice it?
I wonder why she can’t envision a happy future in which I can walk together with her?
Does she really think that I’m such a disappointing man to the extent that I can’t do anything to change the bad world that she depicted?
Or could it possibly be… that all the affections I felt from her were just illusions, and the truth was that she didn’t want to find happiness with me?
These worthless questions spun around and around inside my head.
I felt very bewildered at myself being surprisingly unable to keep my logical reasoning, to the extent that the tips of my fingers turned cold.
I could somehow keep the smile on my face, but my cheek was so stiff that I couldn’t move it at all.
It was as if there were one or two screws that were taken from inside of my head and disappeared somewhere else.
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